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Energy for Visitors
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Question
My daughter telephoned the other night to say that her husband has to use up some vacation time unexpectedly and could they and my three lovely grandchildren come (all between age three and seven!) and visit for a couple of weeks. In years past they would come and stay here with us, there is more than enough room, but the thing is now my husband is slowing down, and I am too. I would really, really love to have them here, they live out of province and we only see them once a year, but to tell you the truth I think two weeks will be a bit of a strain for both of us. Can you suggest how I might approach this situation?
Answer
I
can understand your concern, as we get older and time takes its course,
tasks that we never used to give a second thought can suddenly seem
quite daunting. And hosting your daughter and her family for two weeks
is no small thing, especially with your husband slowing down and three
young children to be considered. That is a lot of work for anyone!
I
think you should have a frank conversation with your daughter. I know
we don’t want to alarm our children, but when you don’t see each other
all that often sometimes it is difficult for them to appreciate that in
our golden years we don’t have the same energy we used too. Your
children see you just as you were when they were actual kids!
Explain
to her the situation and that the workload associated with having a her
family stay for two weeks might be too much for you and dad. Suggest to
her that she might shorten her time with you, or perhaps stay in a
nearby hotel for some or part of the duration. Don’t be afraid to ask
for her help with the household chores, especially cooking and cleaning
and looking after the kids. As a mother and a daughter, I am sure she
will understand, and make arrangements to lighten the load for you and
your husband.